Mad World
by Outrageous-Oval
Summary: Edward has left Bella. She has become a hollow shell of the person she used to be. Is she too far gone to be saved? Oneshot. SONGFIC. M for dark themes.


**A/N This was written by My-Alphabet-Soup, but she allowed me to make it into a Twilight version. Go check her stuff out!! Takes place during New Moon.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the song Mad World**

I sat in a chair, looking dolefully around the house. There was nothing new. Nothing different. It was all the same. The same as it had been yesterday, and the day before, and the day…I think you get it. It was as though everything happened in accordance with a specific schedule. One that never changed, never altered. I was getting sick of it. The only difference between today and yesterday was the clothes I was wearing.

It seemed unreasonable to be out of bed this early anyway. What time was it? 3 o'clock? Half past? I was fast tiring of these monotonous days. Someone was saying something to me. I didn't hear them.

_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere_

A few days ago I had discovered that I was depressed. Well…not discovered, I had been…_comforting_ myself for months now, ever since Edward left, careful to always keep these signs of comfort hidden away from the world; no one knew about them. But it was only recently that I actually came to the conclusion that I was depressed. The strange thing was…I was ok with it. It didn't hit me hard, perhaps I already knew; I was just afraid to admit it.

I stood from the chair and walked slowly into the kitchen. I saw someone standing there, but the face held no familiarity for me. Maybe. Carlin? Something like that. The person moved and brushed past my arm and the warmth lingered for a moment, until it just disappeared and I felt nothing. I stopped in mid-step, blinking and rubbing my eyes. I attempted to fix my gaze on one thing and noticed that I was being watched. It was the man…Carlin? Charlie? Yes, that sounded right. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to say something, but he remained quiet. Maybe he knew too, maybe he knew that I was depressed. I let my eyes fall and continued across the kitchen.

How much longer was I going to live in this dreary, repetitive world?

_Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

I tried to hold my head high. I tried to let the depression leak out of my system. But it wouldn't go, and I couldn't get rid of it. I tried to tell myself that it didn't bother me, but it did. It did bother me. The man walked towards me and took my hand. He squeezed it, probably hoping for some sort of reaction, but I just let mine fall, limp and loose.

He led me into the next room, his arm around my shoulders, and sat me down on the lounge. I think he was talking to me. But I didn't even notice.

_Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
Made to feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen_

The man was still talking to me, so I figured I should say something back.

"It hurts," I said. It sounded loud. To me it sounded loud enough to hear, in fact, there was even an echo to it. But the man just continued talking as if I hadn't said anything. Perhaps it wasn't as loud as I'd thought.

Suddenly my throat felt dry. Every breath I took ripped down my trachea and tore my lungs into tiny pieces. Though, strangely enough, my breathing remained steady, there was no noticeable change in my physical appearance.

"Hello?" I tried again, but he did not respond.

Had I done something wrong?

_Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
Look right through me, look right through me_

I ran. I ran from the faceless man. I had no idea where I was running to, but I ran. When next I came to my senses, I was standing on a cliff. The cold wind whipped my face and soon I was shivering. I sat down heavily, leaning up against a rock, and curled into a ball. Why did I go to this cliff? Was I contemplating the worst? Surely not, surely…not. Right?

It wasn't like this was a new scenario to me. I had often been quite comforted by the very thought. But now…now that I was capable of doing it right _now_…well, that was a different story. But the thoughts, oh how they were comforting. I had imagined it in many different ways, they never seemed painful; perhaps that's why they comforted me. But I knew that it would be…wouldn't it?

_And I find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had_

I stood up and walked towards the edge. I looked down and felt a chill run rampant through my body. My spine tingled as an especially cold gust slashed at my exposed flesh. I stood still for what seemed like hours. I heard my phone sound every now and then, but I ignored it for as long as I could, until it just got the better of me and I tossed it over the edge. It smashed into a thousand pieces when it hit the rocks. That would be me. All I had to do was step forwards…but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I thought about all that I would be losing. But…what would I be losing? The only boy I'd ever loved had discarded me like yesterday's trash, I was failing in school because I couldn't concentrate, my dad was drifting further and further away from me. Nothing. I had nothing. Suddenly it was clear, I knew what I had to do. As I put my foot over the edge, hovering just so, I heard someone behind me, but I did not care who they were or what they were doing; my fate was sealed.

_I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very mad world_

"Bella?"

…_Mad world._

**A/N Who was it? Did Edward come back for her? Or was it Jacob? Does she jump? Or does she get saved? You can decide for yourself =]**

**Oval and Out**

**.x.x.x.**


End file.
